Hi Everyone,

Yes, I'm aware that it's been an incredibly long time since I last posted, unfortunately life got crazy again.

I work pretty much all the time, and my office is very small so there's always so much interpersonal drama! This person wants to sleep with that person, that person wants someone else, this person said that, etc...:eyeroll: I'm doing my best to ignore it all, yet still seem to know everything about what's going on!

Apart from that, my healing journey is continuing. I'm getting fitter, losing weight, eating healthier, and sleeping pretty much every night.

I'm learning that I don't need to be perfect, and though I have to keep reminding myself of that, I'm pretty much at peace with myself!

I've had some sad moments recently, people I've tried to reconnect with haven't understood why I've been gone. Makes me so incredibly unhappy, but I'm viewing it as another "life lesson" - I need to learn to accept I can only do so much to influence other's choices or opinions of me. Now to learn to let go.

I miss all the art, my goal is to start small again - look at 10 things a day, and go from there.

Love you all Catch me up!

Love,

Jess

...so, this week was one of those weeks.

You'll be happy to hear that I learnt some life lessons this week. Here they are in dot point form for your convenience:

1) Lies will ALWAYS catch up with you. Always.

2) No matter how hard you try, you can't change people.

3) Life sucks in a lot of ways. And it's good to keep that in mind, as it is when you finally become complacent that disaster chooses to strike.

4) Art is important. Creative expression is a tool to discover more about yourself.

5) Life is too short to deal with people you have no respect for. Or to be bullied into doing things you just don't want to do.

6) Heartbreak is healthy, and necessary. And while I'm sure that life will suck forever right now, I know I've been here before, and I emerged a healthier, happier, stronger Jess. (though I don't really have a cocoon to fall back on, which is why I'm so stressed)

7) The phrase "Bend or Break" is so so true. My control issues haven't allowed me to see that, and now that I have no control over my life, all I can see is how even a little flexibility would have served me well.

8) Hindsight vs. Foresight is a pointless argument. Just remember for next time!

9) Life is all about choices. You are who you choose to be. If you don't like who you are right now when you look in the mirror, start taking life steps in a better direction.

10) Sleep really is important. No matter how much you may delude yourself into believing that another coffee will fix your tiredness, sleep is indeed important. My mind for one craves chill time more than anything else, giving it what it wants really helps with my sanity!


Hope some of these help some of you out there

Feel free to add more!

Love, Jess

...i don't think i'm ever going to find what i'm searching for...

how many of you feel lonely on a regular basis? as in, lonely & isolated the majority of the time?

Hey all!

I've had a busy couple of months, and miss you all like CRAZY!!!!

I'm doing therapy,and am feeling positive about the steps I'm taking to live life in a more constructive way.

I'm moving house today, and LOVE my new house!

And...I survived the last few months to turn 23 today

How is everyone?

Much love,

Jess

...relationships come to an end for a reason.

Sometimes people are in your life for a single purpose, sometimes many, and sometimes seemingly for no reason at all. However, I do believe that the steps I have taken in the last 24 hours to remove my ex-partner from my life in all ways are a positive step.

I'm flying to Sydney on Sunday morning for training for my new job. It's a totally different arena to my other jobs in the past, I'm an Account Executive for a company called EBBX, ([link]) and they are a Barter Exchange company. Scary stuff, but I'm sure it'll work out alright

My other major upheaval is the fact I'm moving out of my house. I don't really have anywhere to go at this stage, pending money, but I'm trying to sort that as fast as I can. Unfortunately I'm waiting on my friend Hope to get her job, so that she can move into a house with me. Then I'll have furniture, and somewhere to live.

I've also made the decision that I will never again move in with a man, unless I'm engaged or married. It's not worth the shit.

Apart from that, I have nothing really stable right now. I haven't slept in a few days, and I'm finding things hard.

Love, Jess